At a certain age or point in our lives, we feel like we have gained some mastery on this journey called life. We’ve gathered some skills, experience, and wisdom along the way. We’re no longer beginners. There’s comfort in that knowledge and feeling. There’s an ease and confidence that comes from knowing what the hell you’re doing. But there can also be apathy and stagnation.Read More
I crave space and function best when I give myself the space I need. Here’s the tricky thing about space, though: It’s often uncomfortable. We’re socialized to be busy, to fill every possible moment so we appear productive, valuable, and successful—and believe that we are. When confronted with space, we avoid it.Read More
“Don’t be a quitter.”
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this during my life from my parents, friends, family, significant others, and other insidious sources. Eventually I internalized this message and, because of it, ended up sticking with things longer than I should have—and always to my detriment. And when I did quit, I was made to feel bad about it from others or (worse) myself.Read More
It’s something I don’t talk about much. I don’t want to sound like a whiner, especially since by western medical standards, I’m considered “normal.” And in the grand scheme of life and the state of the world, there are far more pressing matters. Here’s the thing, though, my weight really bothers me … a lot. Intuitively, though, I know food and exercise aren’t the real problem.Read More
Let’s face it, most of us lie to ourselves or others every now and then, or more frequently. What I came to realize is that perhaps the biggest lie I tell myself is the lie of less than. Less than is how I can often feel. But less than is an illusion.Read More
The abyss. You know. You’ve been through it probably more than once in this lifetime. But have you ever gone back after a good long while and revisited the experience for the gift you ultimately received from it?Read More
At some point, or maybe many points, we question our purpose in life. I have. I still do. I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating my purpose since I abandoned the B&B business idea. I’ve wondered what can I, what should I do with my life now before it’s too late.Read More
When a friend lost her beloved unexpectedly several weeks ago, I was overcome with emotion—desperate sadness and concern for her but also sadness at remembering my own losses over the years. I know grief. Not this particular grief, which is unimaginable to me, but grief nonetheless.
It’s been 50 or so days since I started my #365daysofdelight project. Although it’s too early to see a particular trend or direction, the simple act of documenting my delights every day has revealed plenty of lessons.
Here’s what I have learned so far (in no particular order) …
I was an angry child. Not all the time--just when my feelings weren’t being acknowledged or considered, which was a lot. I got a very clear message: My feelings didn’t matter. Here’s how that message manifested itself in my behavior over the years.
For the past couple of years, rather than make resolutions, I have chosen a word to frame my new year. A word that evokes a feeling I want more of in my life. This year's word is like an old friend with whom I've reconnected. For 2017, it's all about filling up.Read More
We have been in our new home for 2 ½ months. Although we are excited every day to see the ever-changing landscape, smell the juniper-infused fresh air, and watch the critters that cross our path and sky, the house has not been all roses and unicorns. Far from it. Although the house has certainly required a lot from us , it has also given us a lot. Already, I have learned a lot from Gentry House has--mostly about myself.Read More
Not for a second since accepting the revelation that I am no longer going to pursue the B&B have I felt a sense of regret. In many ways, I feel like a weight had been lifted. The decision has left me feeling freer and more buoyant. That’s not to say, though, that the decision didn’t leave me feeling sad.Read More
If there is one thing I’ve learned in the past couple of years, it is that the answer always lies within me, regardless of the question or issue I’m wrestling with. Sometimes I get an answer to an issue I wasn’t even aware of. I know exactly why I have pursued the B&B dream, but the dream wasn’t to own a B&B.Read More
I’ll be honest: Although our move to Oregon has been good in many ways, it hasn’t been all roses and unicorns. Not for me. Changing cities. Moving. Starting a new job. Buying a house. Any one of those things on its own is a big, stressful change. Doing them all at the same time? Overwhelming. The “WTF was I thinking?!” kind of overwhelming.Read More
In March, on our last scouting trip to Bend, Oregon, Todd and I went to see a house that had recently come on the market—again. We liked the house instantly. In so many ways, it was perfect; exactly what we were looking for.Read More