These are wild times.
Since deciding to make the leap and move to Oregon, the Universe has conspired in making this move happen … and happen quickly. (Honestly, it's happening faster than I expected and am comfortable with at times, but I’m just trying to roll with it.)
In the past couple of weeks …
- We found a great rental house in Bend in a very tight market with a short-term lease and a really nice landlord who is willing to accept us without regular employment (at the moment) and with our dog McKenna
- The landlord connected us to a local realtor who we really like and is proving to be invaluable
- The realtor lead us to a house and property that has a lot of potential as a B&B
- An informational interview with the owner of Lara House Bed & Breakfast turned into a job offer for assistant innkeeper/marketing director (of course I accepted!)
- We received three offers on our home in the Bay Area and are looking at closing escrow in a few short weeks
As each of these events happened, I was initially excited and grateful. It wasn’t long, though, before a cloud of doubt and disbelief cast my excitement into the shadows. Everything seemed to be happening too easily. Really, how lucky could one person be? This all seemed a little too good to be true.
I found myself wondering when the other shoe would drop. Something inside kept me from truly basking in these moments of good fortune. I remembered a quote from Daring Greatly by Brene' Brown:
“To let ourselves sink into the joyful moments of our lives even though we know that they are fleeting, even though the world tells us not to be too happy lest we invite disaster—that’s an intense form of vulnerability.”
Beyond the fear and vulnerability, there was an even more insidious feeling at work. For all of the good that I am and have been blessed with, there lies a belief that I am not worthy. I’m sure this thought was first articulated to me by my parents (I remember one incident involving new bedroom furniture and playing hooky from catechism class) and then others. It wasn't long before my subconscious took hold of the message and become the hall monitor of my self-worth.
Fortunately, just being aware of this tired old story helps me keep the limiting belief at bay. If all else fails, I have a tattoo (pictured above) to remind me that I am worthy.
What I've learned from this struggle is that our worth just is and that life is so much easier when you believe you are worthy. And if you let it, the Universe will provide you with many gifts to remind you just how worthy you are.