I’ve written before about letting go. For me, it’s been a constant and critical part of my journey, shedding that which no longer serves me—people, places, things, and thoughts. It’s something I think about a lot because I’m continually discerning what feels authentic to my essential self. It occurred to me recently, though, that perhaps I make letting go sound like an easy thing to do. (Goodness knows I've been criticized for the apparent ease with which I let things go.) It’s not easy. It’s a slow, unfolding, and sometimes painful process that can take days, weeks, months, even years.
I didn’t take much when I got divorced. My ex got the house, the dogs, and almost all of the furnishings. Because I had no idea where I was going to be living, though assuredly it would be a much smaller space than what I was leaving, I only took those things that were mine alone, including the jewelry I had received as gifts over the years from my ex.
Since the divorce, I have slowly liberated myself from the jewelry. Although they were beautiful pieces, the jewelry represented someone else’s idea of what I liked or would suit me at the time. Some pieces I gifted to friends. A few pieces I sold. Many pieces, though, I ended up selling for scrap. Jewelry that I believed to be valuable wasn't considered so in today’s market. Styles and trends change, and years later the only real value of that jewelry was sentimental.
I always knew when it was time to let go of a piece of jewelry because it no longer fit me—the me I had become then or am now. Whenever I put on a piece of jewelry I hadn’t been interested in wearing for awhile and found myself immediately taking it off, I knew it was time to let that piece go. One of the first pieces I relinquished was the Rolex watch my ex had given me one year for Christmas. It reflected a life and lifestyle I no longer lived and had no desire to live. The watch wasn’t me.
A couple months ago, I sold the last few pieces of jewelry that remained from my former life. It’s taken eight years.
Objects have energy that take up space—physically and emotionally. Letting go frees up space for something new and better to fill our lives. Letting go creates space for the most valuable thing of all … you. The real and authentic you. The you you are today and not the you you were last month, last year, or last decade.
I was ready to open up the space those last pieces of jewelry had occupied in my life. I have fond memories of most of the jewelry my ex gave me. I even treasure the not-so-fond memories for the lessons and insight they still give me. I am grateful for having had the pleasure of wearing the jewelry and for the opportunities it has afforded me by letting it go.
Stuff is just stuff. Although I no longer have the jewelry, I still have the memories. During this time of year when stuff tends to reign supreme, what we all seem to treasure most are the memories we have from holidays past. Memories are the real gifts. Hold onto those and let the stuff that no longer serves you go. When you’re ready, of course, and at a time and pace that feels right to you. Then, imagine the possibilities of all the wondrous things that could fill your newfound space.
The gift of peace
'Tis the season for expectations (our own and others') to run us ragged. It's easy to get wrapped up in all the "should do's" and "have to's" in an effort to bring joy to others. Unfortunately, we forget about ourselves in the process. The best gift you can give yourself is time to take care of you.
Give yourself the gift of peace. I am offering free coaching sessions through January 1, 2018. You don't have to schedule or complete the session before the new year. Goodness knows, you probably barely have time to breathe. Just let me know you're interested and I'll follow up in early January to schedule a time. Send email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you want to learn more about what coaching can do for you, let me know. I'd be happy to explain!